Thursday, February 12, 2009

eat fresh

today i paid a visit to my old friend jared, at subway of course.

a mildly obese, motherly, red haired woman in her late 40s with too much makeup and hair product made my sandwich. she appeared incredibly concerned the entire time and took special care to cater to my every request. as i was paying she quietly said to the cashier, "lets give him a special discount today...i have a 19-year old son that is constantly hungry and broke so i know what he is going through right now." somewhat bewildered, i took the 70 cents i had saved thanks to my 'pity discount' and left subway wondering if i:

a. looked emaciated
b. looked poor (while wearing a patagucci jacket and smith sunglasses)
c. looked like a 19-year-old

thanks jared for that 70 cents. it really helped. maybe i'll go buy myself a tootsie pop or pack of RUNTS.

4 comments:

Tim said...

I like runts, the little feisty ones in the touch tank.

Anonymous said...

that's funny, i always thought you looked like all three of those things, too.

nicole gelb said...

maybe she knew that you were a cougar-lover and she thought that if she gave you a discount it would up her chances of you givin her a lil somethin somethin. yes/no?

Jax said...

ahahahaha. I get mistaken for homeless and you get mistaken for a starving teenager. We should take to the streets and do some panhandling. I think we could really rake in the $$$..then you could see Girl Talk whenever you want! ;)