we have nothing to lose

recent blips from a recent convo + other thoughts...(a rant of sorts)

im tired of squeaking by and selling my weekend for $150. my heart isnt throbbing knowing that i provide better coffee and quality food/beer.

people always say that if its too good to be true, it probably is. i intend to prove this wrong, or go broke trying. but i've been broke so long i wouldn't even know when i arrived at this proverbial "state of poverty".

we have nothing to lose

i'll drop everything to commit. 4 months of labor. 8 months of freedom. why not.
imagine what a 6 pack of high life would taste like after a week like that. i can't! well then, lets find out.

in the words of king Salomon, all is vanity, but it sure would be nice to pay off a lil debt, buy my sibs some nice gear and then buy myself a one way tix to patagonia.

it can happen. idealistic thoughts no longer dwell in idealism when they become concrete. when they become a reality.

dont write it off. dont write me off.

a recap

and thus ends a week filled with:

-47 hours of work between 3 jobs
-working at a cabin in the mountains and watching my boss kill half a 12 pack of MGD as we drove home while his wife, mother-in-law, and 7 week baby rode peacefully in the backseat
-helping my boss kill the other half
-biking to work at 6:45am in sub 30 degree temperatures
-pitchers and peanuts and the world series
-TGR movie (somewhat disappointing) and the surprise of seeing my high school buddy's 2 minute clip in the movie alongside sage, seth morrison and others
-then running into said buddy along with 5 other high school kids i haven't seen for 5 years and haven't missed and suffering through awkward small talk
-creating a theory at the coffee shop that height has a direct correlation on age and blood relatives
-collecting dunnies with my boss...don't hate until you know
http://www.kidrobot.com/products2.cfm?ID=6891&cfid=9846573&cftoken=50819879&nav_chooser=
-eating venison every third meal
-donating a beer to a 30 year old dude having marriage problems that is sleeping on our couch...holy awkward turtle

drinking alone

a recent conversation i had after finishing a shift at shadow's keep (and after finishing a knob creek on the rocks):

barkeep: how was it?
me: delicious
barkeep: whats next?
me: no idea, pondering that as we speak
barkeep: how bout a carbomb? (good bartender i might add)
me: ha! i was actually just thinking the same thing
barkeep: well why not
me: well i've never done one alone, i feel i'm not quite ready to do carbombs alone in public drinking houses
co-worker: i do them all the time! no shame in it!
pause
pause
me: well buddy, heres to ya (as we share a car bomb)

how precious

the last best place

outside of working 2 and possibly 3 jobs, riding my bike absurd distances just to save $2 in gas and frequenting the local library and gears shops, I've been volunteering.

the PEAS farm is a community farm located a half mile from my house on the rattlesnake creek and supported almost entirely by volunteer help. four hours of work will earn you ten pounds of food which make a lot of sense economically for me (as my time is valued by nobody but me). i've helped harvest winter squash, pumpkins, tomatoes and peppers. my buddy rick is the caretaker at the farm and lives just past 400 pounds of drying onions on the second floor of the farmhouse. im envious and secretly planning to buy property in MT and begin a small subsistence farming operation with a friend while working part time to make ends meet.

ten spoon vineyard grows, harvest, mashes and bottles their own organic grapes and produces 4-6 varieties of wine per year. the vineyard is a mile or so up rattlesnake drive from my house. i spent a few days last week harvesting two different varieties of grapes with other missoulians in temperatures of 32-40 degree F. we also received snow flurries. only in MT can you harvest grapes while getting snowed on. i love it. we received an amazing meal each day consisting of a combination of stew, cornbread, chili, lasagna, salad, orzo, a Big Sky Brewery Keg and 10-15 bottles of wine. the vineyard owner gave me a bottle of their Range Rider Red for volunteering multiple days and offered to hire me during bottling next month.

missoula like most towns has its far share of jamokes but i've also met a handful of rad/absurd people including wisconsin joe who would polish of almost an entire bottle of vineyard wine during our lunches, a 23 year old trail crew worker/student who lives up the rattlesnake while keeping bees and brewing mead, hippy james who brewed fresh ginger tea for my fellow grape pickers and kept trying to sneak more and more rum into the tea, and lindsey from maine who has worked/guided a large portion of the AT.

as i told jcd the other day, i think MT may be just the place for me.

...

life moves slower when you are broke

i soak beans overnight and let them simmer for hours instead of opening a can.
i sip my pitcher of Cold Smoke from the Kettlehouse Brewery slowly knowing i can't afford another.
i prepare quinoa or spinach salads and black bean hummus with homemade bread for lunch instead of spending $6 on a burrito.
i ride 6 or 13 miles round trip to work not because i want to save the whales but because its either gas or tortillas and couscous.
i spend more time doing laundry as my uphill bike ride to work creates interesting odors.

and what is the result? a closer connection to the food i eat. a closer connection to the city i live in as i commute like an ant scurrying through a family picnic.

simplicity

the keep

i've completed my training at Shadow's Keep, a well respected and distinguished restaurant in south missoula on the highlands golf course boasting a gorgeous view of the city from the south hills. but lets be honest...its a shitshow.

there is no formal uniform. i often wear capris, crocs, and some absurd hat (along with my chef coat and apron). we listen to music at blaringly loud volumes. a steady diet of nofx, against me, mc chris and other punk rock has hardened me. its very normal to scream out an order to the dishwasher...if you dont yell, he won't hear you.  the menu is simple, we prep very little and i've already been promoted from salad/app land to the line as a "chef".

and somehow despite all of this, we pump out huge volumes of food at prices upwards of $50 per plate...and people can't get enough of it. i've become convinced that most people, if put in a fancy setting with fancy lighting surrounded by cute servers in fancy outfits and served food that is $30 per plate with fancy names like duck confit or beef satee, will leave happy and satisfied and will excitedly tell their friends about their beautiful dining experience at Shadows Keep. 

so for now, i'm content to benefit from these people's stupidity as they leave enormous tips and return time and time again. and if it becomes too much, i always have the house bar that graciously offers a 50% discount to all employees so we can drink away our tips.